Mind Our Manners

From the March issue of Parents Magazine:

25 Manners Every Kid Should Know
1.  Please
2.  Thank You
3.  Do Not Interrupt
4.  Say "Excuse Me"
5.  Ask Permission
6.  Keep Negative Opinion to Self
7.  Do Not Comment on People's Physical Characteristics
8.  When Other Ask "How Are You?" Ask Them How They Are In Return
9.  Always Acknowledge and Address Friends' Parents When Visiting Their Home
10. Knock On Closed Doors
11. Address Yourself When Making a Call
12. Be Appreciative of Any Gifts
13. Do Not Use Foul Language In Public
14. No Name Calling
15. Do Not Tease
16. Do Not Show Disinterest Even If Bored
17. Do Write Thank You Notes
18. Cover Mouth When Cough or Sneeze
19. Do Not Pick Nose In Public
20. Open Doors For Others
21. Offer To Help
22. Eat With Utensils
23. Keep Napkin On Lap and Use It to Wipe Mouth
24. Do Not Reach Over Table
25. Do Not Complain About the Food When Visiting People's Home

I am sure I can add to this or remove others.  But generally, I am in agreement with this.
What's interesting for me is how this list reminds me to teach by example. How many of us adults mind our manners everyday.  Ultimately having manners means showing proper respect for ourselves and for others.

Today I Will Respect Myself Enough to Mind My Manners.

Conversation Happens Between Point A and Point B

One of the Classics on the Subject of Parenting.

Official Website  -  Between Parent and Child

http://www.betweenparentandchild.com/index.php?s=front&p=index

I don't particular like driving.  I don't particular like driving while my children bicker in the back seat.  

BUT, I do LOVE to be driving with them when I have them alone.  Many a times conversation happens while driving from point A to point B.

The older one gets into deep philosophical questions of life, God, friendship, people and the struggles of life.  He's been like that since he was 3 y.o.  Now at the ripe old age of 10, life has not gotten any easier for him.  But, I so enjoy his thoughts and ideas and perspectives.  

The younger one is much simpler, at least for now. She talks about stuff. The stuff that she loves; stuff that she wants, stuff that makes her happy and stuff that gives her doubts.  Then the simpler stuff, her favorite color, favorite candies, favorite book, or her favorite disney princess of the moment.

These drives often cause me mixed emotions.  They point to how little I know about parenting my children.  They show me my shortcomings. They announce to me that what I thought were true about my children only last but a fleeing moment. And I better catch up so I don't miss out on who they are and who they are becoming.  

Luckily, more often than not, the tenderness and sweetness will then set in.  No matter how I miss the mark, my children are still willing and ready with their openness towards me.  They are entrusting me with their thoughts, their feelings, their growing being.  Many people seek the unconditional love of their parents, yet, I find that I am often on the receiving end of that unconditional loving relationship from my children.

I thank them for their openness and pray that I am responsive to them as we continue to engage in these conversations between point A and point B.

I Wish For You A Conversation Between Point A and Point B Today.

Growing Up Sons

I love my first born. He happens to be a boy. He happens to be a boy with an old soul. I have often said that I never worry about him as an adult. It is how to keep him a child until he is an actual adult that worries me.

He told me when he was 5 y.o., "Mom, it is not easy to be your first born child. You have to try out how to be a mom on me. These things you try may or may not work." I remember being shocked and then paused and told him that he is so so right.

He is 10 now; I have to admit that I am still trying out parenting stuff on him, that may or may not work.

Even though I am a professional student of human nature, personalities, life stages developments, interpersonal relationships and social constructs of life, I never feel certain.

Being a psychotherapist for over 13 years, doesn't entitle me answers. In actuality, it taught me how to ask questions.

So what's the point, you may ask?

Guess my point today is, Sons, they inspire me. I admire the male mind, their ways of thinking, their differences. The process of Boys turning into Men can be amazing and humbling for mothers. Maybe, it is just humbling to "this" mother, but nonetheless, a process I am proud to be a part of.

I have found this website (and many others) helpful for Child Development and Parenting Information.

Child Development Institute

http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/parenting_today/actively-listening-to-your-child.shtml

So what will I do today?   Go and spend some extra time with my dear dear boy.  I LOVE how he looked at me in the upper right photo.  He was so into me and I am so so into him!!!

Go and Give a kiss and a hug to the boys and men in your life today.