A Case for Understanding & Acceptance...Men and Women

At the beginning of Couple Therapy, it is important to explore the differences between the two people.  Majority of the times, family backgrounds, cultural and religious upbringings, personality differences are emphasized and clarified to enhance appreciation of the differences.

I am not one to endorse gender bias or over-generalization of gender socialization, but over time, I realize that there are true and definitive differences between men and women.  More times than not, understanding and acceptance of these can help alleviate many deep wounds caused by miscommunication and misunderstanding.

Here is an excerpt from an article by Michael G. Conner, Psy.D regarding the topic.
You can read the full article at this link:
http://www.oregoncounseling.org/ArticlesPapers/Documents/DifferencesMenWomen.htm

Differences In Problem Solving:
Men and women approach problems with similar goals but with different considerations. For most women, sharing and discussing a problem presents an opportunity to explore, deepen or strengthen the relationship with the person they are talking with. For most men, solving a problem presents an opportunity to demonstrate their competence, their strength of resolve, and their commitment to a relationship.


Differences In the Thinking Process:
While men and women can reach similar conclusions and make similar decisions, the process they use can be quite different.Women tend to be intuitive global thinkers. They consider multiple sources of information within a process that can be described as simultaneous, global in perspective and will view elements in the task in terms of their interconnectedness. Men tend to focus on one problem at a time or a limited number of problems at a time. They have an enhanced ability to separate themselves from problems and minimize the complexity that may exist. 


Differences In Recalling & Memory:
Women have an enhanced ability to recall memories that have strong emotional components. Men tend to recall events using strategies that rely on reconstructing the experience in terms of elements, tasks or activities that took place. 


Differences In Relational Closeness:
Men feel closer and validated through shared activities. Women, on the other hand, feel closer and validated through communication, dialogue and intimate sharing of experience, emotional content and personal perspectives.

Relational Success

Understanding + Acceptance = Resolution