Adults often speak of children as challenging (i.e. difficult, moody, negative behaviors and so on).
I have often thought about it the other way around (including myself). What if it is the parents who are challenging to the kids.
Kids are doing their job, growing up, physically, emotionally and developmentally. Maybe it is the parents who are not keeping up?
Howard Glasser - http://nurturinggreatness.net/howie.html
of Children Success Foundation and the designer of The Nurtured Heart Approach to parenting raised a few common sense questions to parents:
Why do we spend so little time and energy on our children when they "do the right thing?"
But...
Why are we so colorful, animated, and high energy and verbal when our children "do the wrong thing?"
If you were a child, which type of engagement get you more attention and connection?
Do you know why children are so "into" video games?
- Goals are clear
- Rules are defined
- Reward comes in the forms of winning and recognition
- There is a "Re-set" button when you make a mistake or fail at one particular level
- There is no judgement, just consequences
- Pick right back up from where you left off
The new rule of parenting for the last decade has been "catch your children doing the right thing."
Glasser suggested create situations in which your children "will do the right thing."
Reading Howard Glasser's The Nurtured heart Approach certainly made me realized how "challenged" I've been. I do not agree with every aspect of his work. I am sure, he doesn't expect nor want that of his readers and parents. But, it's definitely help me to re-organize my thoughts.
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